michikooks ap blog

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult tasks one can accomplish. The ability to deny one’s own anger and turn their heart around 180 degrees to accept and understand another person’s actions, is truly a phenomenal accomplishment. I always thought forgiveness was kind of a meaningless endeavor. All you had to say was, “I forgive you,” and everyone would be good to go. But I didn’t realize that that one simple phrase contains enough power to determine an everlasting friend or a ceaseless foe.  Little did I know that forgiveness would become one of the most needed virtues lacking in my family’s life.
Growing up in a house full of 6 girls (counting my mom and I) I’ve always felt sorry for my papa. He wanted a boy so badly. I think that explains why my sisters and I all had boy bull-cuts in elementary school. And why teachers would tell us not to go in the girls’ bathroom, mistaking us for a boy. When my papa immigrated from Japan, he brought along all his Japanese customs, including his samurai discipline. Yes my papa is very strict. I’m pretty sure I could outnumber any of you in my list of restrictions. However, he wasn’t always this strict. He used to be pretty laid back. But that didn’t last long and pretty soon things changed. My papa was severely hurt. The worst kind of hurt possible. His heart was broken by his own daughter. This all happened in a slow, long, aggravating process. My papa not quite sure what to do, tried to help my sister. But that only arose more anger and heartbreak in the family. Instead of facing the problem and forgiving each other the problem was avoided leaving this endless anger and disunity among them.
Ever since, my papa has made the utmost effort to take care of the rest of his daughters. Being as strict as possible is probably one of the only options to make sure I don’t face any fatal, heartbreaking situations. But what he doesn’t know is the suffering I have had to endure because of this. Sometimes it’s so hard to understand why he won’t allow me to do some things and it’s really hard to forgive.
But despite all the hardship I have been through, they are nothing compared to what he’s endured. One incident happened last year that made me realize how strong my papa really is. My Japanese Grandma and Grandpa passed away during the same year. My papa being the eldest son of the family went back to take care of the matter and his younger siblings. But he was treated like a stranger in his own family. They disapproved of him living in America for so long, and his inheritance was stolen away from him. Once again my papa was punched in the heart. But in spite of being hurt by the closest people in his life he refuses to show his pain and he continues to cautiously take care of his family.
However, all this pain and suffering will not mend in my family unless a cornucopia of forgiveness occurs; if my sister and my Japanese family could forgive my papa, if my papa could forgive my sister and his siblings. Only then can we get rid of this tension, this anger, this resentment that’s ultimately destroying us and keeping us from obtaining happiness. But time is rolling by and if we can’t dig down deep to find a spark of forgiveness within our hearts, we will never find peace within ourselves.

P.S. My respect and love for my papa is extremely strong, and it seems to continuously increase as the years go on. He is my favorite person on this planet, and the funniest person I know.  Thank You.

American Dream: “It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—to-morrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning——”

Fitzgerald shows us that the American Dream is not something that’s necessarily attainable, but it’s rather this ideal thing that everyone wants and continuously strives to get it. We always have this motivation inside of us that will keep telling us if we reach just a little bit farther than we can obtain our goal. For Gatsby and Myrtle tried extremely hard to achieve this American Dream of wealth and love, but when they were on the brink of touching it, they discover that it is not something that should be tangible, rather it is something that is there to inspire us day by day to keep us going.

Character Development: “It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. . . .”

Daisy or Tom never showed up to Gatsby’s funeral. We learn that Tom and Daisy are stuck in this destructive American dream of wealth, that they base their relationship and ultimately their life around it. The American dream is like a poison that runs through Tom and Daisy, but because they were born with it inside them they can live with it. Tom and Daisy sting Gatsby and Myrtle with this poison that ends up killing them. Daisy is a pooper. =(

Color Symbolism: “In the foreground four solemn men in dress suits are walking along the sidewalk with a stretcher on which lies a drunken woman in a white evening dress”

Jordan and Daisy are constantly described as wearing white, white dresses, white makeup. I think the white color theme represents a mask. Jordans white makeup covered up her tan. The white dresses make the ladies appear innocent. The girls put a mask of white that hides who they really are inside which happens to be all about wealth and theirselves.

American Dream: A small gust of wind that scarcely corrugated the surface was enough to disturb its accidental course with its accidental burden. The touch of a cluster of leaves revolved it slowly, tracing, like the leg of compass, a thin red circle in the water.

It was after we started with Gatsby toward the house that the gardener saw Wilson’s body a little way off in the grass, and the holocaust was complete.

Gatsby dies! =( how sad. Anyways the shocking murder shows how because Gatsby was so absorbed by his goal to retrieve Daisy and was so selfish about, not caring about who he effects in the process, it just ends up not only killing him, but also Mr. Wilson, and Myrtle. You can’t change the past, you only go forward and work toward your future. That’s what Gatsby fails to realize and his American Dream of gaining outstanding riches ends up in vain.

Character Development: I told her she might fool me but she couldn’t fool God. I took her to the window.”—with an effort he got up and walked to the rear window and leaned with his face pressed against it——” and I said ‘God knows what you’ve been doing, everything you’ve been doing. You may fool me, but you can’t fool God!’”

Standing behind him, Michaelis saw with a shock that he was looking at the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg, which had just emerged, pale and enormous, from the dissolving night.

“God sees everything,” repeated Wilson.

We realize here that Dr. T. J Eckleburg eyes symbolize God’s eyes and that he sees everything. Towards the beginning when we are introduced to Tom’s and Myrtle’s affair Dr. Eckleburg was there. And now at Myrtle’s death he shows up again.

Color Symbolism: His gorgeous pink rag of a suit made a bright spot of color against the white steps, and I thought of the night when I first came to his ancestral home, three months before.

The contrast between Gatsby’s pink suit against the white steps shows that no matter how hard he tries he can never fit in the high society. But instead of making a dull spot in the white steps, he stood out bright, meaning he stood out better than those high class people. (At least in nick’s eyes he did)

American Dream:

“Was she killed?”

“Yes.”

“I thought so; I told Daisy I thought so. It’s better that the shock should all come at once. She stood it pretty well.”

He spoke as if Daisy’s reaction was the only thing that mattered.

This part shows that sometimes the American Dream can end in tragedy. Gatsby tried so hard to obtain his dream that he ended up killing someone. But the sad part is that he didn’t even really care. He only cared for what Daisy thought. He’s so blinded by his dream, that it’s ultimately out to ruin him.

Character Development: “The bles-sed pre-cious! Did mother get powder on your old yellowy hair? Stand up now, and say—How-de-do.”

“I got dressed before luncheon,” said the child, turning eagerly to Daisy.

“That’s because your mother wanted to show you off.” Her face bent into the single wrinkle of the small, white neck. “You dream, you. You absolute little dream.”

“Yes,” admitted the child calmly.

This shows a different side of Daisy. Originally Daisy is portrayed as this nice graceful girl that is still in love with her her first love. But this passage provides evidence of how Daisy really is inside. She’s all about appearances, and wealth signifiying that she’s old money. And later this is confirmed when Tom is talking to Nick and Gatsby.

“She’s got an indiscreet voice,” I remarked. “It’s full of——” I hesitated.

“Her voice is full of money,” he said suddenly.

That was it. I’d never understood before. It was full of money—that was the inexhaustible charm that rose and fell in it, the jingle of it, the cymbals’ song of it. . . . high in a white palace the king’s daughter, the golden girl.

Color Symbolism: Daisy and Jordan lay upon an enormous couch, like silver idols weighing down their own white dresses against the singing breeze of the fans.

“We can’t move,” they said together.

Jordan’s fingers, powdered white over their tan, rested for a moment in mine.

I’m not sure, but like i said earlier in chapt 6, white signifies pure or innocent, so maybe the white powder covering jordan’s tan signifies that she and high society people are two faced. Where they might act polite and innocent on the oustide, really they aren’t and are just stuckup snobs that care to much about wealth and social status.

American Dream:

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to,” I said.

“Well, you come,” she urged, concentrating on Gatsby.

Mr. Sloane murmured something close to her ear.

“We won’t be late if we start now,” she insisted aloud.

“I haven’t got a horse,” said Gatsby. “I used to ride in the army, but I’ve never bought a horse. I’ll have to follow you in my car. Excuse me for just a minute.”

The rest of us walked out on the porch, where Sloane and the lady began an impassioned conversation aside.

“My God, I believe the man’s coming,” said Tom. “Doesn’t he know she doesn’t want him?”

This is evidence that Gatsby did not grow up in the high society. He doesn’t know that being asked for dinner is a polite excuse for saying goodbye.  So when he is asked over for dinner he accepts the invitation and runs out to get ready. After all the effort put into becoming this rich man, Gatsby still fails to fit into the high class and is still not truly accepted by high society people. If feel sorry for Gatsby. He may put on a good mask of showing his wealth, but when it comes to social affairs, he falls behind.

Character Development:

“I wouldn’t ask too much of her,” I ventured. “You can’t repeat the past.”

“Can’t repeat the past?” he cried incredulously. “Why of course you can!”

He looked around him wildly, as if the past were lurking here in the shadow of his house, just out of reach of his hand.

“I’m going to fix everything just the way it was before,” he said, nodding determinedly. “She’ll see.”

This part of the story shows how Gatsby is dwelling and living for the past. Everything that he worked for was for the sake of the past, to take back Daisy. So when Nick tells him “you can repeat the past,” Gatsby freaks out and doesn’t want to accept that. Gatsby is so caught up with obtaining his dream that he doesn’t want to accept the circumstances in the present, like how Daisy is married now and has a child.

Color Symbolism:  “…they came to a place where there were no trees and the sidewalk was white with moonlight…His heart beat faster and faster as Daisy’s white face came up to his own”

White is considered to be a pure, clean color. Daisy and Gatsby’s love in the past is described as the color white signifying it was pure and clean, and simply innocent. Now there are so many flaws attached to their relationship it could be described as grey, a more dirty musty color.

American Dream: “As I watched him he adjusted himself a little, visibly. His hand took hold of hers, and as she said something low in his ear he turned toward her with a rush of emotion. I think that voice held him most, with its fluctuating, feverish warmth, because it couldn’t be over-dreamed—that voice was a deathless song.”

This is part of the American Dream to finally meet your true love. After so long Daisy’s and Gatsby’s love never died and they are finally reunited to poor out their hearts toward one another.

Character Development:

“Where are you going?” demanded Gatsby in immediate alarm.

“I’ll be back.”

“I’ve got to speak to you about something before you go.”

He followed me wildly into the kitchen, closed the door, and whispered:

“Oh, God!” in a miserable way.

“What’s the matter?”

“This is a terrible mistake,” he said, shaking his head from side to side, “a terrible, terrible mistake.”

“You’re just embarrassed, that’s all,” and luckily I added: “Daisy’s embarrassed too.”

“She’s embarrassed?” he repeated incredulously.

“Just as much as you are.”

“Don’t talk so loud.”

“You’re acting like a little boy,” I broke out impatiently. “Not only that, but you’re rude. Daisy’s sitting in there all alone.”

From most of what we know of Gatsby, he is this perfect gentlemen that is outgoing and never gets nervous, but from what we read now he is acting like a little puppy and doesn’t know what to do when he meets Daisy. This makes Gatsby appear more real than his usual perfect “fakish” self.

Color Symbolism: “If it wasn’t for the mist we could see your home across the bay,” said Gatsby. “You always have a green light that burns all night at the end of your dock.”

The color green symbolizes a goal or a dream. Gatsby’s goal was to meet Daisy again.

American Dream: “Gatsby bought that house so that Daisy would be just across the bay.”

Part of the American dream is to find true love. Gatsby found it with Daisy and his everlasting love is still strong even after so many years and causes him to build a house across the bay from Daisy’s.

Character Development: “This quality was continually breaking through his punctilious manner in the shape of restlessness. He was never quite still; there was always a tapping foot somewhere or the impatient opening and closing of a hand.”

Gatsby so far has appeared as the ideal gentlemen that has no flaws. But the way they describe him “breaking his punctilious manner” and being “restless” made him seem more human and ordinary.

Color: “It was a rich cream color, bright with nickel, swollen here and there in its monstrous length with triumphant hat-boxes and supper-boxes and tool-boxes, and terraced with a labyrinth of wind-shields that mirrored a dozen suns. Sitting down behind many layers of glass in a sort of green leather conservatory, we started to town.”

It is interesting that Gatsby’s car is green on the inside and cream on the outside. Green symbolizes wealth, and the cream or pale gold color symbolizes old wealth. This signifies that maybe Gatsby is different on the outside than on the inside. Maybe Gatsby is a fake inside, but puts on a mask to portray himself differently

American Dream: This whole chapter explores how Gatsby is living the American dream of wealth and fame: throwing big parties, buying books enough to make a library, and creating this powerful image of himself that keeps others from messing with him. He is the ideal of what everyone is striving for.

Character Development: “See!” he cried triumphantly. “It’s a bona-fide piece of printed matter. It fooled me. This fella’s a regular Belasco. It’s a triumph. What thoroughness! What realism! Knew when to stop, too—didn’t cut the pages. But what do you want? What do you expect?”

Books were a real luxury back then and a symbol of wealth. In order to read these books the pages would have to be cut, but some of the books were not cut. This indicates that Gatsby is either a very busy man and has not found the time to read the books, or he is a fake and just keeps the books for show.

Color Symbolism: “The lights grow brighter as the earth lurches away from the sun, and now the orchestra is playing yellow cocktail music, and the opera of voices pitches a key higher.”

The word yellow is used in the place of an adjective such as joyful or gay. Fitzgerald chose to use the word yellow because the color itself gives off a cheery, bright tone.

American Dream: “‘My dear,’ she cried, ‘I’m going to give you this dress as soon as I’m through with it. I’ve got to get another one to-morrow. I’m going to make a list of all the things I’ve got to get…’”

Myrtle attempts to portray herself as a rich girl that can afford to get anything she desires. The importance of wealth is the American Dream. Being able to enjoy the power and happiness of wealth seem to be the goal of many.

Character Development: “Mrs. Wilson had changed her costume some time before, and was now attired in an elaborate afternoon dress of cream-colored chiffon…With the influence of the dress her personality had also undergone a change. The intense vitality that had been so remarkable in the garage was converted into impressive hauteur…she seemed to be revolving on a noisy, creaking pivot through the smoky air.”

Mrs. Wilson seems to be a two faced women; showing an outgoing, flirty behavior around the crowd. Perhaps she is trying to prove herself worthy for Tom. Also her personality fits with the clothes she wears. Before, she was wearing a dark blue dress that matched her miserable attitude when she was with her husband. Later she changes into this elaborate dress and suddenly she acts joyful and energetic.

Color Symbolism: “Occasionally a line of gray cars crawls along an invisible track, gives out a ghastly creak, and comes to rest, and immediately the ash-gray men swarm up with leaden spades and stir up an impenetrable cloud, which screens their obscure operations from your sight.”

The color gray indicates a dull, miserable tone. The dull cars mixed with the dull men all add to a dreary impression on the town. With a dark cloud hovering over the town, the people continue their day with boredom and insignificance.

American Dream:
“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees-just as things grow in fast movies-I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again.” (p
This passage shows the American dream of oppurtunity and freedom. The ability to forget about the dark past and start anew is a priceless freedom. The American spirit is to never give up and to take hold of your oppurtunities.

Character development:
“Two shinning, arrogant, eyes had established dominance over his face…It was a body capable of enormous leverage-cruel body.” (p 11)
Tom Buchanan is developed to be a selfish, authoratative person. Even his body gestures portray his evil personality.

Color:
“I bought a dozen volumes on banking and credit and investment securities and they stood on my shelf in red and gold like new money from the mint…” (p
The colors red and gold portray a tone of royalty and importance. The books resemble to hold great power and abundant knowledge, only worthy for a King or Queen.